Things Fall Apart

Remember when you were somewhere around upper primary and maybe even secondary school, and you were wondering why your young uncles and aunts were not serious with their lives because you thought they were busy idling after campus? Remember how you would think to yourself, “I will not waste my life like this” and even went ahead to make your entire life plan probably even up to marriage? You planned to get the best grades, attend a national school, study hard and get an A so you can go study Medicine or Engineering with the firm hope that your efforts will grant you a direct pass into employment immediately after graduation. Remember that?

You even vowed to work for at least 5 years and settle by 26 or 28 in a big mansion and drive the fanciest car (or should I say machine) on sale. Besides, you can afford it right! Then when you hit 30 you can proudly pass on your values and success down to your newborn kids. Well, allow me to ask; how far are you with that initial plan?

I don’t know about you but I’ve talked to a number of people; myself included and we are far from the initial plan. Much of what we had promised ourselves to be by now, the jobs, the fine cars…

Here’s a bit of my side of the story. I cleared campus some few months ago, waiting to graduate soon and trust me! This is one of the most confusing moments in life. I have been in contact with those I cleared school with and those from different universities and it’s safe to say that nearly everyone seems to be in some form of searching. Searching for some direction in life. Some seem undecided on the next step, others are just wondering whether it was worth it even going to campus.

Knocking on doors in search of a mere internship has probably been the order of the day for most of us and the number of rejections faced could cause a more serious heartbreak than what you have gone through in a past relationship. If an internship is that difficult to attain, what about a permanent job?

So, back to the beginning of this hearty write. Remember when your young uncle or aunt stayed at home? Is it starting to make sense to you now? If there were minimal opportunities then, with the increase in population, university graduates, immigrants; could things get any worse than this?

Where did it begin falling apart though?

Probably at different levels for us all. Some did not attend that desired national school. Others did but did not attain that grade they worked so hard for. A majority of us are even studying courses that we do not want or which we realized halfway that we have absolutely no interest in. How about those of us who studied hard, and passed so well but are now tarmacking and stressed because we feel like we put in all that was required of us; but here we are still struggling.

The older generation will only tell you that “You are now beginning real life” or as my mum would say, “ Karibu Nairobi” because Nairobi is known for being the place where people travel to (I think they still do) find a job to try and kick-start their independent journey to begin earning a living. Suddenly the ‘settle and be stable by 26’ goals seem to be so far from reach. The question is for how long?

I believe the first step is accepting the situation at hand. Ignore the many regrets and wishes as they are not beneficial to you at the moment. Second and most importantly, quit with the comparisons, because am sure a few of your friends (trust me when I say a few) seem to have it all together. This makes you panic and question whether you are on the right track. Hear this, we all have different paths to follow and struggles to face.

Exodus 4:2 Then the LORD said to him, “What is that in your hand?” “A staff,” he replied. Third, I pose the same question to you. What do you have in your hand? Use it! What is that talent that you have? Which is that area you live in that is more advantageous compared to the rest? Which are those links you have that could help you achieve something or even a job? Which are those opportunities advertised to you that you think you can’t handle or don’t qualify? What are those resources lying around that can be used to generate some income if well used?

You have a wide variety to choose from considering what you have learned for the last over 20 years attending the school of life. I am not saying it is easy neither am I saying I have it all figured out but I trust that the effort I put in will count someday. It may not be the field you intended to delve in but starting off with ‘whatever is in your hands’ may lead there eventually. Better off, what you start may end up being your turning point to success and you end up loving and prospering in that field. So many people have studied the “big courses” but are now the most successful entrepreneurs and doing very well in the entertainment and arts industries.

As you think through this and decide on what to do, SEEK FOR GOD’S DIRECTION and pray for His blessing in whatever you decide to eventually do. He works wonders especially in situations where we see no breakthrough or way forward.

Now stop thinking too much and start acting. Don’t just sit there. Do something!

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Life’s Positives Always Outweigh The Negatives

Ever felt like there is so much happening in your life at the same time that you cannot handle all? You feel like if you had a choice you would just sit back and do one thing first and complete it before moving to the next but life does not give you that much time? Moments like those that make you want to let go of some things because you’re not sure whether it is all worth living for!
Those in school, for instance, you find that you have an exam to study for, some hustles to carry out, watch the World Cup (Trust me, it’s important 😅😅😅. Once in 4 years! Who would want to miss that!? 🤔🤔🤔) among other activities. Times like those that you sit back and console yourself with the common Kenyan proverb ‘Cha muhimu uhai 😂😭’ (Swahili for Life is what’s important). 90’s kids, I know you are great victims here.

Most times when such moments occur we start regretting the choices we’ve made. This is normal, in as much as it is not beneficial. That moment when you start questioning whether things would be different if you followed your passion and chose a different course. I know this is one thing most of us clearly relate with, including myself. You may question why you dated or got hooked to certain people, who you believe wasted a big part of your life. I know some of you have been in relationships which ended and left you convinced that you had taken so many steps backwards. Or when the hype dies down after high school and campus life and you realize that so much time was spent in the company of wrong people, doing all the wrong things.
What about the times when our regret is centered on things that we can’t really change?
Have you, at one point in your life sat and asked yourself either of these questions?
“What if I was born in a different country or tribe? What if I was born into a richer family and went to a better school and live in a better house? What if I went to a different school? Would I be smarter and brighter than I am now? Several times I have heard people even questioning what life would be like if Adam and Eve didn’t eat the forbidden fruit. 🍎

On the positive side, has it occurred to you what life would be if Jesus did not die for our sins? What if there was no such thing as grace and forgiveness? You’re not a refugee because you actually have a place you can call home. What if this privilege was not there? Life is not an island; but what if you really never had a family or friends or anyone to associate with at all? So you believe you spent four years of your life studying something you probably won’t practice but have you taken note of the things, the memories and people and opportunities which wouldn’t have crossed your path had you not spent your four years in that class? I don’t know about you but my campus life (though I was studying what I may not practice) has added a lot of value to my life. But that’s a story for another day. 

Though we are not experiencing things at the same level, we need to open our eyes to the fact that life’s positives outweigh the negative. Right there where God has put you NOW is where you need to be and it’s time you start looking at the opportunities He has placed around you. Regretting or complaining about your current status blinds you from looking around and seeing the potential for greater things. 

 

What if you are the person God chooses, to deliver your family from poverty? What if he is using you to raise them to the level He has planned for them?
You are the voice of hope and reason to the friends you dread ever crossing paths with. All that you are going through is part of the process. This moment right here is your testimony.
Look around, identify each and every stepping stone and use it to propel yourself forward. Don’t sleep on opportunities; don’t lie on your potential, just because things didn’t go your way. There is still a great future ahead my friend. Because God has the best plans for you. (Jer. 29:11)
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Connect with me on all online platforms: @tinjeyTJ